Ashes

This voice, Daria Zaritskaya, definitely was born to sing rock music. I can even relate to the lyrics on this one – been there, experienced and felt that:

I think she even outperforms Iron Maiden’s Bruce Dickinson in her The Trooper cover:

 

Exhaustion and emptiness after the battle

When the fighting’s over and “the battle’s lost and won”, to quote Shakespeare’s Macbeth, and when the well earned beer has been drunk, exhaustion and emptiness settle in.

The tiredness caused by exhaustion comes in waves and there is no energy left to fight it. Trying to sleep is the only thing that works. When you’re lucky and can fall asleep, that is. When the memories, their image carousel and the open questions don’t keep your brain awake and busy with an overload of synaptic firing.

The emptiness is even worse to fight. It comes with many unanswered questions:

Why?

What has even happened?

Was it worth it?

Did anything even make any sense at all?

Does your life itself make any sense at all?

Why did you do any of those things?

Why did you wait so long?

Why did you feel what you’ve felt? Did your emotions blind you again?

And most importantly:

What next?

Where next?

Is there even anything worthwhile left to pursue or will it all just be another fool’s errand?

Some might say it is not even worth it to try to find answers to those questions. Life is like a river: Rivers don’t go back upstream. They just flow towards the ocean. Looking back doesn’t make any sense for them. Just move forward.

But those answers are necessary to develop oneself and to grow. To avoid repeating the same mistakes over and over again. And especially as an INFJ personality, to not enter an emotional one way street and invest emotions and time in people again who do not reciprocate those feelings and investments – but who have no qualms playing with you and taking advantage of you.

It’s important to Take Control:

(This song by The Old Gods Of Asgard for the video game Control by Remedy helped me a lot getting through a tough spot in my time as Head of IT at the MPIPZ in Cologne.)