Tell them, my song.

I honestly don’t know what all the reviewers and YouTubers have been smoking when they collectively went hysterically about how great the 2.0 update of Cyberpunk 2077 supposedly is.

From where I stand, the game is still a broken mess – including actual game breaking bugs.

I began a completely new (Nomad) playthrough on my Xbox Series X to give the update the fair chance that CD Projekt Red has been asking the players for.

The very first ridiculous bug I saw was right in the opening scene, and it has been there since the original release: Your hands disappear in the closed (!) hood of the car when you are apparently fixing your engine problem. Then you enter the car – and see an open hood. Really great QA right there, CD Projekt Red. It’s the opening scene of your game, then one thing that every player will see – and you still haven’t fixed that immersion breaking bug that’s been there since the original release. You lost all my good will towards the 2.0 update right there.

Then, when you a few minutes later drive to the farm to meet Jackie for the first time, the next immersion breaking bug: I parked the car with the headlights pointing to the door. I enter the house, talk to Jackie, and when I want to step out of the door, the car is parked with the readlights pointed towards me. And this is another immersion breaking bug right in the beginning of the game that also has been there since the dawn of time. What did you actually fix, CD Projekt Red?

Let’s fast forward to Night City. Since I was already fed up with the game after the broken intro sequences and was not in the mood to pursue any story-related thing at this point, I decided to go all psycho and opened fire on anything and everybody in the apartment block where V lives. And lo and behold: Most NPCs don’t even react to the fact that people standing or walking next to them are being shot. Some might run away, but a lot are just oblivous to what’s happening in the world around them.

The “best” thing is the guy with the boxing robot or whatever: While you’re throwing around grenades and bodies are piling up directly next to him, the guy actually asks you if you’re up for a little training fight with his new robot. Who programmed this shit?

This list goes on forever by the way. Near the “Afterlife”, there are some folks sitting in a staircase. You can throw a grenade at them, and they briefly get up and are annoyed – just to immediately (!) sit down again. You can kill one of them and the other does not react to that at all.

This alone kills any interest I might have to actually play this so-called open world game: It isn’t one. When you pull shit like that in AC Odyssey, for example, half of the village you’re in will run away from you, the other half will come after you with whatever weapon they might grab. Going psycho in AC Odyssey is usallly a short-lived adventure.

What also annoys me is the fact that there is almost nothing you can do in Night City when you’re not in an actual story mission or side-mission. The world offers little to no interactivity. You might be able to buy a hot dog or find some adult adventure for money when you search long enough, but that’s about the size of “what that city has to offer”: In fact, the city offers literally nothing to you. It’s just a backdrop for a highly scripted story.

And then I ran into the most idiotic game breaking bug I’ve ever encountered in a game: During the “rescue Evelyn Parker” mission, all of a sudden V would only move in slow motion. Apparently, this is also a bug that has been around since the very first release, and there were some tips for it on the Internet. Unfortunately, none of them worked. Restarting the game didn’t fix it, zooming in and out didn’t fix it, committing suicide by cop and restarting from a last checkpoint didn’t fix it, driving a car and getting out of it didn’t fix it and fast traveling didn’t fix it either. V just stayed in slow motion at all times. And since this is a first person shooter at its core where you cannot just crawl around all the time but have to respond fast to the bullets flying at you, this effectively breaks the game.

And thus, I uninstalled this broken mess. What a waste of time and money – and what a huge disappointment AGAIN after three years!