Feb 01 2024

Rebuilding from the chaos

Published by at 6:15 pm under Thoughts

Over the last months, literally everything in my life had drifted into chaos and all the stable walls around me had crumbled one by one. A few days ago, I hit the last standing brickwall with a sledgehammer myself. The problem was that this was the one brickwall that I should have bashed in more than a year ago, because it was the thorn in my side that affected literally everything in a bad way and thus caused most of the other fallout in my life.

I paid the price for not having listened to my screaming and shouting instincts, I had listened to the useless rationalizations that my brain was giving me instead.

Always and only trust your heart and your instincts.

I sat it out for too long.

But it’s better to tackle a problem late than never. Last weekend, on Jan 27, I pulled the thorn out and even though this has left a still bleeding wound, it has lifted a heavy weight and burden from my soul and given me my freedom back.

Everything had been in chaotic movement and uncontrollable flow over the last months, there was nothing to hold on to and no clear perspective. The last 24 hours alone were so intense and filled with events and emotions that they could easily fill a whole month.

Jan 31 was important and very special and something has come out of this long and eventful and also very emotional day. There now is a new piece on the table that promises new stability and a starting point around which I can rebuild everything else that I want in my life.

The tide has turned and I can now create new perspectives and goals.

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